i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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