first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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