belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
