yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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