I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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