I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
