i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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