from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
