with your own penis?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
When are your genitals available?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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