the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
