Can Purell be used as lube?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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