the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
