I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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