But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
