Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
