I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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