how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
