did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
