She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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