Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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