Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
