i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
