I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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