can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
