How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
