You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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