belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
