U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
