Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
