I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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