Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
