Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
