brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
