I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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