I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Terrible idea I love it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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