Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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