Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have grass duct taped all over my body
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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