I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
