it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
