im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
