margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
