So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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