Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
