Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
