it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
