All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
