I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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