My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
