Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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