i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
